I am in love with Empire of the Sun!

So full of Love and wonder.

i keep having moments of complete confidence.
as if i know im where im supposed to be.
as if i am content in my path and my ways.
like everything is going to work out.

but it all comes crashing down with an utter collapse of confidence..
i feel scared and like a failure
like ill never make it in the real world and that im going to be wiping ass for the rest of my unproductive life.

why cant i just let myself win!!! why do break myself down until there's nothing left but a sad depressed loser with nothing but her thoughts to plague her mind and soul.

i love Josh and i couldnt be more proud to know and be with such an amazing wonderful man.
i look at him and wonder why .. why out of all the awesome rad chicks out there does he stay with me?

but then like the amazing person he is, he picks me up from the depths of my inner most thoughts and tells me
why he loves me. with legitimate reasons and true love in his eyes.
i cant help but feel confident again. like everything is going to work out...
that's how i know Ive got someone special. that someone special that i hope and wish that everyone finds.

if everyone had what i had then the world would be so much more beautiful.

i love Josh. everyday, every minute, every second of my existence.

happy happy happy happy thoughts.

progress
change
determintation
health
happiness
fun


these are going to all be accomplished this summer

i can taste it
i can feel it

 but most of all

i want it!

its time

for me to get out more.
i realized something, though i love, and will always love gorgeous and amazing Colorado, i CANNOT wait to move away with Josh.
yes itll be scary
yes, itll be lonely... at first
yes i will OFFICALLY be on my own.

i cannot wait until i live farther than 4 houses away from my mom.
when i dont have to hide or feel guilty about being me.
yes i am ready and waiting for that glorious day..
  MOVING DAY!